dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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