question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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