Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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