i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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