Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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