I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize