when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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