Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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