I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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