When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
