There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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