i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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