The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
