Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
