i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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