I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You are a genius and a whore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
