i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
