You smell like stripper and shame
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
