I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
