I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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