Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
