He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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