I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
