You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just had sex bonerless
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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