I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
