never play flip cup with pint glasses
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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