You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No subtext here. People are naked.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
