dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
