my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
