chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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