As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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