I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You are a genius and a whore.
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