Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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