i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
