Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
