i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
