Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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