Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
