I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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