You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
