I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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