you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
