I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
