i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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