I heard we made out
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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