What a fucking waste of an outfit
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
