I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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