I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
