I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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