just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
