i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
