I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
