so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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