He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
